


timetravel

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 11:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4346681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	timetravel

you retch, memories of the night before clouding your vision. his dark skin and bright blue eyes hovering above you, pinning you both metaphorically and physically. you hate him. you hate yourself for letting it happen. you're weak, your speed couldn't overcome his strength and his will. he wanted you beneath him and he got it. he bruised your wrists and neck, hips and thighs, holding on so tight, biting and sucking red marks into your freckled skin. your head is spinning, hangover and horror taking you over. the room begins to shift, changing shape, colours melding together grossly. you push yourself into the corner, tears clouding your eyes and warping your vision even further. you pull your knees up to your chest, leaning back against the bathtub. you wish you were deaf so you didn't have to hear your pathetic sobs. you wish you were mute so you couldn't sob. you wish you were blind so you didn't have to look at him. you wish you could time travel. you want to go back, before you knew him. you want to go back to the days when you weren't allowed to go anywhere by yourself. you want to go back to the times when you and bro strifed daily, when he took care of you after he beat the shit out of you, when he cared about you. when he wanted to make his little man strong. the days when expressionlessness didn't matter to either of you. when he would kiss your forehead ironically as he tucked you in. when dirk taught you how to rap. before you put your singing on the internet. before jade introduced you to _him_. before rose was an alcoholic. before jade died. before

you've gone too far back before. when you were in the game and you could actually time travel. you loved it at first, always knowing the time, being able to visit any time you wanted. now you just lose track of the time, your internal clock forever fucked up. you liked your life before the game. you liked your room, card suit sheets, shelved wet specimens, photographs hanging from clothespins, turntables, wires covering your floor. now you hate your room. you don't know why. you hate being a knight. you can't protect anyone, let alone protect yourself. karkat has protected more people than you have, one of the people _being_ you. you actually liked karkat. you miss him. he doesn't really talk to you too much anymore. you stop thinking about things in the past.

you think about when dirk will get home, will you let him find you in the bathroom? he should be home within the hour, you determine after glancing at the wall clock. you'll just stay in here, you think. when the minute hand ticks the door opens, and you see bro staring at you. how did you not hear him come in the door? oh, right. you left it open a little bit. you look up at him with bloodshot eyes and a red face, crying is fucking terrible. you hate crying. bro kneels in front of you and takes off his glasses. "dave? what happened?" you try to speak but a sob comes out instead. he looks genuinely concerned. you manage to whisper, "john" he looks confused for a moment, then you see it click. his eyes light up with anger and disgust. "fuck" he uncapchalouges his katana. you'd try to stop him if you cared. you don't.

you want to go back in time and play pretend.


End file.
